The Life and Thoughts of Hinata Hyuuga
by Sailor Hinata
Summary: FINALLY UPDATED!Hinata thinks that she's always alone, but someone comes along. This is my first ever fanfiction, I hope you like it! SasuHina...a little OOC...ENJOY! Story includes: a somewhat perverted Hinata and poetry written by moi XD
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, if I did the death of (insert spoiler) and (insert spoiler) would have never happened T-T  
This is my FIRST fanfic. so please be nice and R&R arigato. Oh and this is a SasuHina story...so if u don't like it, read something else

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**Hinata's Diary:**

_May 25_- I think today I've finally noticed how alone I am. I know that I'm different; I think it's my shyness, but maybe because I'm a Hyuuga.

Another thing I've realized is that I'm, ano…I'm very very… perverted. (blush) I don't know why (maybe it's those books, hmm), but my dreams have suddenly went form finding my true love to doing things with him—use your imagination (falls to ground from nosebleed)

My dreams are very graphic you might say, it's so embarrassing, I don't know what I'd do if Neji-niisan finds out. What if the villagers find out, oh what a disgrace!

They might say things like, "Well she is twenty-one" or "I think the Hyuuga's suffer from sex-deprivation, that's why they're so serious." Oh Kami, I must stop doing this.

I never quite admitted it to myself, but I don't think I like Naruto anymore. I think I know what caused this change, when I was younger I looked up to him, and I tried to make my father proud, yet I was a failure.

I know that other think that I'm weak, but I'm just showing them my outside. I may faint or stutter, but I swore to myself that I'd never cry in public. I'm even weaker when I'm alone in my room.

I want a mother love and a lover's comfort, but all I have is my father's defection. I don't think anyone cares if I live or die. Well back to my story on Naruto, since I spend most of my time alone, I think.

Nobody knows how much my personality has changed. As a child I loved the summer, the sunny days, happy moments; maybe that's why was so attracted to Naruto, and the confidence he gave me.

My favorite color, back then, changed form pink, to yellow, to orange. I hated storms and the sound of thunder frightened me.

I've grown up, and I no longer love the summer and the sunny days. I love the fall and the winter, the cool breezes, and the harsh rain. I'm no longer afraid of the thunder only welcoming it to my ears.

I'm no longer attracted to warm colors or Naruto. I love light pink, lavender, and surprisingly gray. I don't know why I've changed maybe I'm turning into a cold, loveless Hyuuga. I've tried not to change, but I've succumbed to my love of darkness, pain, and ano… perverseness.

People always say it's the quiet ones, they're right. I think it would surprise people to know what I think, especially Neji-niisan (who thinks I'm so innocent). I can't describe how I feel when I hear the wind brush through the trees or the soft patter of the rain on the gutter.

I think I'm the only one who thinks like this, well may the only girl (I don't know what goes through guys' minds). _(sigh)_ I better go to bed now. Till later diary

_May 31-_ I know this sounds funny, but I now have resorted to talking to myself (in my mind). I usually debate who the guy in my dream is.

I can't really see him (it's dark in my dream), and whenever he's about to turn on a light, I wake up. Ano… let's see, other than my dreaming (blush) I study scrolls too. I love reading and solving mathematical equations now.

I forgot to mention that I really enjoy reading mysteries an adventure stories, but one day Temari-chan gave me a book for my 16th birthday. She told me I was too shy and naive and to "live a little," and I read the book.

When I started I never bothered to check the inside cover on what the book was about, big mistake. The book was a girl version of Jiraiya-sama's books (someone told me, I didn't read his books!).

The book was by someone name T. S. Unade, wonder who that is. The embarrassing thing is that I can't stop reading them! Those books must have started my perverted dreams! It's horrible, reading was my get away, a time I could pretend to be an American detective or a beautiful actress.

Now reading is like a tool for my own sick perversion. I don't think Temari-chan knows how much damage she's caused (Temari coughs somewhere in Suna).

_June 12_- I think I'm depressed; everybody I know has someone to talk to (of the opposite sex). I mean Naruto has Sakura (I'm not jealous!), Shikamaru has Temari, Chouji has Ino, even Neji-niisan has Tenten.

I forgot about the others, well Gaara, Kankuro, Lee, Shino, AND Kiba told me they found some "hot girls in Suna."

Every time I think about how happy everyone else is, I start to think: I'm not strong willed like Sakura, stubborn yet cool like Temari, confidant as Tenten, beautiful as Ino, I don't even think I'm as pretty as the girls from Suna.

I really must talk to Kurenai-sensei about this (small note to diary: EVEN KURENAI-SENSEI HAS ASUMA-SENSEI!!)

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Note: to everyone who reads this, i know it doesn't seem like it, but there will be sasuhina interaction (next chapter). and next chapter is a POV not a diary entry. And sorry for the pervertedness XD 


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** Sorry I didn't put this in the first chapter. I DON'T own Naruto ( I wish I did though. AOh well.)

To all those who reviewed: YOU ROCK!!

I usually get writer's block when I write, but for some reason when I was writing this story I couldn't stop. On with the story!

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**Hinata's POV**

I don't know what happened, but somehow I went from walking in my lonesome to training with one of Konoha's best shinobi…Sasuke Uchiha.

I think we have an understanding with each other, some silent agreement that we abide by. I'm alone; he's alone, what else is new. I was about to pass him, when he said "Hey Hinata, want to spar?

We were fighting for some time I bet he was going easy on me. He suddenly looked distracted, I pulled out a kunai. Then he stopped, he came over and said "You know you're a pretty good kunoichi."

**Sasuke's POV**

I don't know what came over me, but I saw a lonely girl walking down the street, and I stopped. She looked up… white eyes, long hair, and translucent skin. It's not so hard to come to a conclusion that she's a Hyuuga.

What was her name again, started with an 'H' I think, Hanabi? no Hinata, that's it Hinata. No, it couldn't be Hinata, Hinata had short hair, blushed a lot, and sort of stalked Naruto. But, it was her; it was her eyes I think. So I did something that I've never done before… I invited her to spar with me.

It was strange, her eyes blinked for a while; she was surprised. Of course she was, what am I talking about, I am King Antisocial. I'm so glad that she's not like Sakura and I give her credit for not fainting.

So we started sparing, she was pretty good. Blocking all my moves, but of course I was going easy on her, it's not like I want to kill her or anything. I was pretty cocky though, as I was thinking this, she pulled a kunai out of thin air, damn!! I don't know what came over me, but I stopped and said "You're a pretty good kunoichi."

_(Hinata) What was I to say "thank you?"_ "Ano….thanks Uchiha-san"

_(Sasuke) Wow, she didn't stutter or faint. Why is she being so formal? _"Hinata, you can call me Sasuke if you want."

"Gomen Sas...Sasuke."

_Oh great, now she's stuttering._

* * *

_(Hinata)_ He was looking at me, what was I supposed to say. Mm... When you really look at him he's pretty cute. What!! What did I say; no I didn't mean that, I mean if I was Sakura. Yup, that's what I meant.

_(Sasuke) I was trying to think of what to say, when Hinata looked like she was about to pass out. _

"Hinata, you all right?"

"Yeah, ano…, I'm just a little hungry."

"Oh, let's go to Ichariku's then."

"Huh? Hai, Sasuke-san."

_(Hinata) Huh? He actually believed that I was hungry? Hahahaha! I can't believe he bought that lie, I am THE worst liar! Oh I better look hungry so he doesn't suspect anything._

* * *

They arrived at Ichariku's without a sweat. BUT as soon as they entered the loudest ninja and most frequent visitor of this ramen shop was there to greet them with a yell.

"Hinata and Sasuke-teme what are you two doing here!"

"We came to have ramen, dobe." Give you one guess who said that.

"Sasuke-teme you know what I mean, you never come here especially with a girl."

"What? Hinata here was about to pass out, so I invited her to come. Why? You think she's taking your spot," said Sasuke implying that Naruto liked Sasuke.

"Sasuke-teme! I'll fight you for that!"

"All right Naruto."

"Seriously?"

"No."

"Ssaassuukkee," whined Naruto

"Leave me alone baka."

"Fine, but we will fight this week," said Naruto who was really annoyed.

Naruto left, since he already ate 10 bowls of ramen and of course a few minutes later he was still hungry.

* * *

Note to everyone: I'm a big stickler for staying close to the real story you know (Naruhina), but I am obsessed with Sasuhina!!! Love u all! And if anyone has any ideas, just PM me!! 


	3. Chapter 3

So everybody sorry for the delay, I actually wrote this a week ago but I was trying to add more. I decided to keep the rating at 'T' because i decided to make it a cute story, well enough talking: Here's Chapter 3, hope you like it

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"So… I guess you two get along well?" said Hinata, trying to make small talk.

"Tch…whatever, I still don't see what you see in that dobe."

"I, ano…don't like him anymore," said Hinata while blushing.

"Huh? Why not?" said Sasuke who was very surprised.

_What am I supposed to say, that I've changed and I like the guy in my perverted dreams?_ "Ano…Sasuke, it was just a crush I'm over it," said Hinata hoping Sasuke would buy the lie.

_Huh? I thought she was in love with him, ah… poor dobe. _"I guess we all get over our crushes someday.

"Really? Who was your crush Sasuke?" said Hinata.

_Damn it, why did I say that? _

_**She's waiting Sasuke**_

_What do I say?_

_**Lie of course **_

"I didn't have one," replied Sasuke with his usual bored tone.

"Oh, gomen, I just thought….." said Hinata, trailing off.

"Demo," said Sasuke while at the same time thinking:

_You could have just told her._

_**And say what, "Hey Hinata while all those girl loved me, I liked you?"**_

_That sounds perfectly fine to me._

_**Yeah, you want her to have a heart attack**_

_I guess she'll never know then._

_**SHUT UP!**_

_You're me, so YOU have to shut up._

_**I'm not talking to you any more.**_

_Fine with me._

"Ano… Sasuke-san are you okay?" asked Hinata, who was nervous that Sasuke was staring into space.

"I'm fine," Sasuke said glad for Hinata's interruption.

And then there was an awkward silence (something we all like to avoid)

They finished their ramen in peace and when they decided to leave Hinata said: "Hey Sasuke ano, see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah I guess."

"Uh okay, see you tomorrow then," Hinata said while walking back home.

* * *

_Diary: July 2__nd_

Well Sasuke and I have been sparing for a while now and I'm getting better, but I don't think I've improved much. Sasuke once asked me when I stopped liking Naruto, but I didn't tell him the truth. I told him that I stopped liking him over time, but the real truth was:

_**Flashback:**_

_Hinata is behind a tree waiting for Naruto to walk by. Yesterday was her 16__th__ birthday and it gave her courage to tell Naruto that she likes him. He sat down at his favorite ramen shop and started eating miso ramen. She walked up slowly and took a seat next to him. _

"_Hey Hinata, what's up?" asked Naruto_

_She looked up at him and was about to open her mouth, but was unable to. She observed how he looked, no longer the little boy she knew, he was growing up. _

_He was kinder and funnier, but there was something wrong. She didn't know what, but she finally realized that she didn't feel faint or uncomfortable. Her heart didn't stutter and she didn't blush. _

"_Hey Hinata are you sure you're okay?" asked Naruto while waving a hand in front of her face_

"_No I'm okay," she lied, but inside she knew that she no longer liked the loud, blonde shinobi._

So you see diary I couldn't explain to Sasuke, he'd probably laugh at me or something. It's not like he cares about my life anyway, oh well. Talk to you tomorrow!

* * *

_Diary: July 7__th_

Hey diary I have something very very important to tell you: I had That Dream again!!! It's so bad, ugh why can't my perverted dreams stay far away from me. And guess what else, IT started again, can you believe that!...

(A/N Of course all of you don't know what IT is so here's an excerpt from an earlier date):

_Diary: January 25__th_

…well other than that I'm okay. Oh I also forgot to tell you something diary you know my dreams, well of course you do I told you; well there's something else too. Whenever I remember that dream during the day, the first guy I look at is the guy in my dream so you see I'm in a very bad situation. Last week it was Neji-niisan, Yesterday was Kiba, so you see it's not by my choice it's whoever I look at. Oh and guess who was today diary… Naruto. It's not my fault diary; I'm going to kill Temari my perverted dreams will get totally in trouble and cause me a lot of nosebleeds for sure…..

(A/N so do you guys know now? Ok good, back to July 7th)

…..I thought it stopped diary, really I did. But I had the dream last night and I just couldn't stop thinking about it. (_Hinata stops writing and gets a tissue_)

I don't think I can go back to sparing with Sasuke because today my dream included him in it. Sasuke Uchiha is the last person in Konoha who would be in my dream and now because of my perverted mind, he is. I'm definitely not training tomorrow. Diary what should I do? I have to go, bye!!


	4. Chapter 4

Ahhh, sorry for the delay guys. Anyway here's chapter 4:

* * *

So the next day came and Hinata still had no clue to what she was going to do. So she asked her conscience for help.

_**You're a ninja, you can handle it**_

_Yeah, but what about ano… my dream_

_**Forget about the dream, it will go away soon enough**_

_Ok, but if it doesn't I'm blaming you_

So Hinata finally decided that she will just have to train with Sasuke, after all she is a kunoichi; she's not going to let some perverted dream take her down.

So Hinata left the Hyuuga compound with her lavender backpack, where she keeps her extra kunai and scrolls. What Hinata forgot was that she accidentally threw her diary in too.

So Sasuke soon arrived to the training ground, and they started to spar. This went on until Hinata caught him off guard (again).

At the last moment he blocked it, but by dodging it Hinata tripped on his leg and fell on top of him in a very awkward position.

Of course Hinata squeaked and started to yell at herself.

_This is all your fault _

_**I didn't do anything, I just tell you what to do**_

_Oh Kami, I can't believe this, this is so embarrassing_

_**You know you like it Hinata**_

_Ah, stop talking like that (minor nosebleed)_

_**Demo**_

_----_

During all this Sasuke just looked at her.

_What's her problem?_

_**I don't know, why don't you ask genius**_

_Her nose is bleeding a little and she's a little pale_

_**She's a Hyuuga of course she's pale, as for her nose you figure it out**_

_**(Sasuke's conscience starts laughing)**_

_Stupid conscience_

----

"Hinata are you okay?"

"Ano… just a little lightheaded"_**yeah right**_

"Why don't we just stop today, why don't you go to Ichiraku's."

"All right Sasuke-san, see you there."

* * *

The problem was Hinata forgot that she left her backpack under the tree. 

Sasuke was getting his kunai (hey, there were expensive), when he noticed the lavender bag. He picked it up, but something slipped out (of course it was her diary).

He took the diary, and there was a piece of paper sliding out of the diary.

He pulled out the piece of paper not looking at the diary (he learned his lesson of reading diaries).

He couldn't help but look at how beautiful the paper looked. It was lavender with a violet butterfly at the corner.

It reminded him of Hinata in some way. Suddenly he just read the paper it was dated a few months before they started training, he didn't want to read it, but he did.

(A/N: this poem is mine, I actually wrote it, and yes it is depressing but deal with it. I know this sounds corny, but I'm like Hinata all the way through, so you can skip the poem if you want)

**Again….**by Hinata Hyuuga (i.e. written by me)

I'm all alone...again.

It's really late…10 pm.

I've got nothing to do but sulk.

I've got nothing to say, that matters.

I always think, but I'm never right.

What I tell people; I always lie,

and I'm always weak.

No one see me for what I really am.

All they see is a

shy,

smart,

talented,

quiet girl,

but I'm not.

I guess it is true...some of it,

I'm not all that innocent though.

My thoughts bring, me guilt.

My imagination, will bring my downfall.

I can't have anyone close to me,

for fear they might let go.

I push away all I know,

In my time away

from others.

Time is my

adversary,

and quietness

is my friend,

and now

I'm all alone…

again.

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I hope the poem wasn't too bad XD ...jk my sister accuses me of being to emo...but i'm not i swear! 


	5. Chapter 5

Everybody I'm soooo soooo sorry for not updating. Here's the reason (don't read if u don't care, lol): My computer crashed and my mom couldn't care less, so she bought a new computer a month later. Then she had her high school reunion at our house, so I had to play hostess (and of course I couldn't go on the computer or do my summer homework). And lastly my teachers won't stop giving me homework, especially AP World History (which is supposedly the hardest class ever, like I care). So after this long and boring explanation….on to the 5th chapter of the Life and Thoughts of Hinata Hyuuga P.S. for all those who are reading this story to the end (this is not the last chapter, btw) u guys rock!

* * *

**Sasuke's**** POV****--**……..I never knew she felt like that.

On the outside she's always so happy and quiet, and no one seems to notice anything wrong.

I feel like that too—that pain of loneliness, and you don't know what to do because no one is there for you to talk to. How come I haven't noticed, we're so alike, yet so different…..

* * *

---_Back at __Ichiraku's_

**Hinata's**** POV****--** Where is Sasuke? I've been here for 30 minutes already, I wonder….maybe he bumped into fangirls… (conscience begins to laugh).

(Turns head) There's Naruto, maybe he knows where Sasuke is. "Hey Naruto…."

* * *

----_Back to __Sasuke_

Sasuke had his back against the tree, just waiting. "_Waiting for what__?" _he asked himself.

He had the poem and the diary in one hand and his kunai in the other.

_What am I going to do? I can't just go up to her and say: "I know how you feel because I read your poem"….__ugh,__ and I call myself a __shinobi__ I __would rather go against __Naruto__ and the __Kyuubi__, without my __sharingan__, than go tell her. _

**_Tell her what_**

_You know what I mean conscience, stop pissing me off. _

**_You shouldn't be using that language you know_**

_Just leave me alone (whispers ..damn conscience…) _

_**It's not my fault that you're the most STOLID shinobi in Konoha** (a/n-stolid means emotionally/socially cold)_

_Just shut up and leave me alone_

**_I thought you didn't like being alone_**

_Well if I had to choose between listening to you and nothing, here are a few words for you: GO AWAY!_

**_You don't have to be so angry about it, sheesh fine I'll go, but it's not going to help_**

_Are you gone yet?_

_………………………_

_What am I supposed to do? She's probably waiting for me, I'd better go._

_

* * *

_

_At Ichiraku's_

"….and then Kakahsi-sensei got punched and I, Naruto Uzumaki, saved him."

"Wow Naruto, that was an amazing story," Hinata said very softly.

"Yeah, well if Ero-Sennin didn't stop me, I would've torn the guy apart with my new rasengan."

"Really? That's wonderful Naruto."

_"What is that dobe doing here," Sasuke thought, very angrily._

Naruto turned his head just in time to see Sasuke (a very angry looking Sasuke)

"Hey teme come over here, I was just telling her the story of when…"

"Shut it Naruto," Sasuke interrupted

"Sasu…." Naruto was about to get angry when, "..wait a second you didn't call me 'dobe' this time."

"Why you want me to call you that now…. dobe?" asked Sasuke.

"No, you only call me 'Naruto' when you're too tired to actually care."

"Naruto… 1. I never care anyway 2. Get away from me."

"Fine Sasuke, I'll leave you, but don't forget the mission on Tuesday."

"Just GO already!"

"FINE!"

Hinata laughed, because it seemed like they were an old married couple. They get so angry, but they truly are best friends.

After Naruto was (finally) gone, Sasuke took a seat next to Hinata.

"Hinata…" Sasuke started to say.

_What should I say: 1. I like you, 2. I read your poem, 3. I know how you feel, or 4. I found your bag_

**_I think the fourth fits best_**

_What are you doing here?_

**_Just giving you a little advice, because once you start with the bag, you can move on to the other three_**

"Sasuke are you all right?" Hinata asked, she was starting to feel worried when Sasuke just stared into space.

"Uh? Oh yes I'm all right…Hinata, I found your bag, you left it."

"Oh I didn't even notice, how silly of me to forget."

"Can I ask you something Hinata?"

"Sure Sasuke, what is it?"

"Do you like me?"

* * *

Haha!!! cliffhanger...don't you just hate those...I DETEST them! I don't know why I used one Y-Y starts thinking 


	6. Chapter 6

GOMEN, GOMEN!!!!!! I am so so so sorry right now, I'm such a bad person hits herself …I wanted to update this story sooo badly, but I never had any time. I can't believe it took me almost 3 months to update this story…the next update will be soon, I promise T-T …..I hope u guys still enjoy the story…oh and please R&R...arigato…and if u have any ideas, just tell me XD

I really really really feel bad TT-TT

* * *

(A/N: _character thoughts_ and _**character's conscience)**_

_"Do you like me?"_

(Hinata's POV)

My heart was beating so fast, what did he mean? He couldn't possibly…no of course not…he probably means, as friends. Yes that must be it; he wants reassurance to see if I'll still train with him.

_Wow __Hinata__, you really jump to conclusions.__ (Pats self)_

_**You know I think he likes you.**_

_Yeah right, the cold __Uchiha__ likes little me_

_**You need self-esteem, that's why I'm here.**_

_Oh be quiet, you're just the perverted part of my brain._

_**And thank God, **__**if**__** I wasn't here, you would be so lost.**_

_I don't __care;__ at least I wouldn't be getting nose bleeds._

_**What's wrong with that, I bet the **__**Uchiha**__** would love that**_

_thinks something really naughty STOP IT!_

_**See I told you.**_

_I'm not talking to you anymore._

_**Yeah right, you couldn't go 10 minutes without thinking something bad.**_

_It's because of you!_

_**You know you're talking to yourself right?**_

_SHUT IT!_

_**Whoa you're being awfully aggressive today.**_

_Whatever; __oh no __see what you've done __Sasuke__ is __looking__ at me like I'm a weirdo._

_**Well it's your fault that you haven't said anything for 5 minutes.**_

_Ah!!! I hate you!_

_**This is the thanks I get.**_

_Thanks for what? Making me perverted?_

_**…**_

_I'm talking to you!_

_**…**_

_Now you bail on me__ (starts thinking of something to say to __Sasuke)_

* * *

While Hinata was debating with herself, Sasuke was waiting. His mind was in so much turmoil. 

(Sasuke's POV)

**_You're a smart one Sasuke_**

_It's your fault, you made me say it._

**_WHAT! I had nothing to do with this._**

_I hate you so much._

**_Well if she doesn't like you it's not my problem_**

_Yes it is you were distracting me_

**_Well I don't open your mouth for you_**

_She must think I'm weird or something._

**_I can see why._**

_(groans) SCREW YOU!_

_**(clicks tongue) Now now ****Sasuke-kun you shouldn't be using such vulgar language.**_

_I can say whatever I want, it's my body._

**_Well I'm part of your body, so that doesn't apply to me_**

_Forget it, I'm wasting my time talking to you._

**_…_**

_Oh finally you're gone._

_**…nope...**__

* * *

(minutes later)_

Ano…Sasuke-san?

Hai Hinata?

Ano….of course I like you…we're friends right? Konoha ninja should always stick together.

Hai Hinata, sorry for asking…I just thought that I've not been friendly to you at all.

Iie Sasuke-san you've been very helpful in helping me train for my next mission.

Oh, well your welcome.

----silence----

(clears throat) well Hinata I found your bag, here (hands bag to Hinata)

Arigato gozaimasu Sasuke-san, I forgot all about it.

No problem, I just thought that you would miss it if you lost it.

Hai I would, this bag has all of my poetry in it.

I know

…._

* * *

_

_(Sasuke's POV)_

_Oh no this is really bad. I wasn't supposed to know her poetry was in there. She's going to wonder why. Gah! For such a genius, I'm so stupid. Darn Naruto, his blondness is rubbing off on me. Well that's what you get for having such an absentminded teammate._

**_Sasuke don't blame others for what you've done to yourself, poor Naruto getting blamed for your problems._**

_I don't care! I have a bigger problem!_

_

* * *

_

Ano….Sasuke-san how would you know about my poems?

…I…um…well you don't care about your looks so there wouldn't be makeup in there, and you use your Byakugan so there won't be a lot of weapons; and most of the time you look a little thoughtful, so I just thought that you might like writing your thoughts down, Sasuke said, trying to save himself from further humiliation.

Wow Sasuke-san, now I see why you were the best of the rookie 9; you're ability of analyzing is so amazing.

Sasuke's reaction: (sweatdrop)…yeah

Oh it's really late…see you tomorrow, Hinata says. (Hinata walks away)

_Yeah Hinata-chan, see you tomorrow, Sasuke says to himself._

* * *

Ok for the millionth time I'M SOOO SORRY! I'll get to chapter 7 ASAP! It is now vacation, so that means i get back to my normal non-social life, which i spend my time writing fanfiction, reading fanfiction, and maintaing sites. Thank you for your patience with this story, and yeah that's about it XD


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